Charles Hocking.

The name of the Cockney was Cyril, and he could not be described as young, because he was getting on for fifty, and spent all his life among his sharp-tongued fellows. His job was a roadsweeper, and road sweepers, as you can imagine, daily deal with the facts of everyday life. Yet here he was; in the East End Court, thin and wide-eyed, listening to the clerk of the court asking him, "Did you steal a lady's bicycle worth three pounds?" "Guilty", pleaded Cyril. "Very well", said the clerk. "Call Detective Sturge to the box". Detective Sturge stated his facts - "This man was seen by the police last night, in possession of a lady's bicycle. He was asked about it and said he saw it lying against a night watchman's hut several days ago. Last night it was still there, and he asked the night watchman if it was his. When the watchman replied "no", he decided to take it home, and it was on the way home that he was stopped by the police. When he was told he would be arrested he said "Will I go to prison?"

Such were the short and simple statements of the Cockney, who tried to ride home on a lady's bicycle.

"Is it true that the bicycle had been leaning against the night watchman's hut for several days?" asked the clerk. "Yes, sir," said Sturge. "You've checked that up?" "Oh, yes, sir", replied Sturge. "It wasn't the night watchman's?" "Oh, no, sir", replied Sturge. "I see that the lady's bicycle is described as the property of some person unknown. The person who owns it doesn't seem to have missed it." "That is so, sir," agreed Sturge. (He, too, seemed puzzled, for ladies do not normally leave their bicycles against night watchmen's huts and forget all about them).

"We haven't had any report about a lady's missing bicycle, sir," added Sturge, "but of course, this statement only came to light last night." "Has he any other previous convictions?" asked the clerk. "Yes, sir," replied Sturge, "eight previous convictions including ones for attempting to drive away a motor car, and possessing firearms without a certificate." "Eight!” asked the clerk. "That’s right, sir". "H'm", said the clerk. "He says, sir," remarked Sturge (saying what he could against the Cockney) "that he was in a mental hospital for some time, but managed to escape". "I take it that he works", inquired the clerk. The detective (Sturge) replied, "Oh, yes, sir; he's been working for the past seven years as a road sweeper, earning £7.10.0 a week. He lives in a furnished flat for which he pays 28/ a week rent." "An odd place to leave a bicycle," said the clerk. "Yes, sir," replied Sturge. "Does the watchman know the woman who left it there?" "No, sir," said Sturge. "Did he see her leave it?" "No, sir," said Sturge. "Very strange, don't you think?" "Yes, sir," replied Sturge.

The clerks methods were direct. He looked commandingly at Cyril and said, "What do you want to say?" "What about", inquired Cyril. "The bicycle, of course." "Oh, that". "Yes, that", said the clerk. "Well, sir," said Cyril artlessly, "I would like to say two or three words, if you don't mind sir." "Go ahead," said the clerk. "I told me landlady 'bout the bike, and she told me not to 'ave anything to do with it, but last night I went out, and 'ad two or three drinks, and the bike was still there and the nightwatchman said it wasn't 'is, so I didn't think I was doing any 'arm in taking' it 'ome. Which," added Cyril, "I'm very sorry for now, and I won't do it again, please sir." "Well," said the clerk, "I should do what your landlady says in future. She seems a very sound person." "Me landlady, you mean sir?" said Cyril, following the clerk's reasoning as well as he could. "Your landlady seems a very sound person", said the clerk raising his voice slightly. Cyril nodded slowly, and replied, "Me landlady is a nice lady".

Was the bicycle meant as an unwanted gift to the nice landlady? This question the clerk did not ask, but he said to Cyril, "I shall give you an absolute discharge, but you will have to pay 20s. costs. But in future, pay attention to what your landlady says.