I was bored with the night's entertainment
And though I'd thought of going to bed,
Well, the night was so young yet, and what's more
The cat had just got to be fed.

So I rose to switch off the T.V.,
Gave the cat a bowl with its meal,
Then I turned round and it was upon me;
It's amazing how strange it can feel.

For there it was, in front of me;
It must have been seven feet tall.
It had eight long, fat, hairy legs,
A thing like I'd never seen at all.

It slowly but surely crept towards me
And I stumbled back over the cat,
But the cat jumped forwards on top of it;
And ate it and well, that was that.

Then I turned on the light and looked round me
Saw the cat and its meal there beside her,
And I realised the beast was imaginary;
T'was only a psychological spider.

Anon