During the first few days at school, the first form obtained a various assortment of
impressions, including some calculated opinions concerning our heroic teachers. "Mr.
Cornes always tells corny jokes," said one. We would like to congratulate the aforementioned
master on his remarkable achievement of apparently passing on a certain mannerism to at least
one of his eager pupils within the space of a few days.|
Another strict critic of the English language decided, "Mr. Bayross uses a very lot of slang." I somehow feel that English lessons are not being used to their fullest extent.
One poor and obviously inexperienced adolescent felt that he liked Father Louis "because he
(Father Louis) supports Arsenal like I do." It must be pointed out that this was made before
the first P.E. lesson, and has since been completely rejected in language rarely used even by
the fifth form.
I am sure that all members of staff who have had the terrifying experience of teaching the first form will be delighted to learn that they have managed to command the attention of all forty odd pupils for all forty odd minutes. This shock may or may not be lessened when they realise that the class were not intent on discovering the intricacies of the sine rule, but on the number of 'ums' to emerge from our glorious tutors' mouths. The results of this exhausting concentration may be learnt from almost any member of the present second from. One boy actually seemed to think "R.E. is absorbing," although in view of previous comments made about the nature and content of English lessons, it seems probable that he only partially understood the meaning of the word 'absorbing.'
The majority agreed that Geography was the best lesson, because they could "see the other boys playing football in the playground." Another observant delinquent seems to have a fairly vivid imagination; he liked his own classroom because he got "a better view of the bicycle racks.'" I would be very grateful for even the simplest explanation.
Girls seem to play an important part in the misgivings of the school. Unfortunately, nearly all the statements available were censored before this magazine came to print, but it is an interesting fact that all the comments came from one particular form whose form-master is not a master - how very considerate. One particular unfinished complaint was "I miss the girls..." while the most observant was undoubtedly "Here, there are no girls." Other comments can surely be left to the imagination.
Now for the school's other misgivings: "I could not find the toilets..." yet another unfinished sentence. "The walls were painted light blue": those responsible were threatened with an unrepeatable fate worse than death. One sorrowful remark was "I haven't been caned yet"; we can but hope and pray for the poor neglected child.
As for organisation, the Salvatorian College is woefully lacking: " I wondered if we would ever get our own clothes pegs": surely one cannot concentrate when one is without one's clothes peg. But then the best quality of your average first year is that he is adaptable - "I got used to it after about an hour." To save considerable embarrassment, I feel that a few words of explanation might not be amiss...
A large number of new arrivals seemed to have a number of ideas not in keeping with traditional school customs. "I like all the lessons and all the teachers." Crawler!!! He will probably be annoyed to see that his name has not been mentioned. "Here the dinners are better …" Any member of the school who has lived through more than a week of so-called school dinners will gladly reel off a list of suitable comparisons to finish the sentence, many of which will probably come from the peaceful atmosphere of the farmyard. By democratic rule, I have been compelled to take the opportunity of pointing out to the Art Department that although most of the first form like art, they would be pleased if the annual 10/- grant could be used to provide them with "stuff".
Finally, an unassailable comment which proves beyond doubt that the Englishman's
powers of observation have not decreased since Christopher Columbus discovered America
(which he did not) - "The first lesson after the second lesson is break".
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