Empty tums throbbing in the class unheard,
But there upon his beechy throne the master hasn't stirred;
Then risen from his seat awhile he just begins to stall
And writes another sentence on the blackboard on the wall;
The lasting echo of the bell has sounded round the school,
But the master now leaves down the chalk and then - resumes his stool;
In that enormous silence, many are afraid
They'll not reach the dining hall before the grace is said.
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Hungry boys groaning as the clock ticks on
Eager to join with the lunch-going throng;
Waiting for the signal to put away the book,
Anxious to sample the products of the cook;
Now the master looks as if he has heard the crunch
Of hundreds of dentures already testing lunch;
Now we are free - hurrah!
Now they shall see - hurrah!
What thirty boys can do to beef and mash and pud.
They rush in green and black from the blue-clad upper floor
Like fountains down the staircase in a hungry flood they pour;
Surging through the cloakrooms, a vast and famished brood,
In desert legion fashion they fasten on the food;
The tables all are laden with the victuals for the feast,
In 'Octaves' they are settled, the greatest and the least;
Yet still there must be a duet
To wait and serve upon the set
Hungrily anticipating what they're going to get.
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Now all are settled and are found in groups of eight
The meat, potatoes, veg and sauce are put upon the plate;
Water is apportioned and the green goblets filled,
Knives and forks are busy and conversation stilled;
Minds are busy reckoning out the second course
(Black prunes and custard will surely cause remorse);
They will not have Crepes Suzettes
Rum éclairs or omelettes
But steamed sponge pudding with a sweet lemon sauce.
The cook up in the galley sets her knife back in its sheath;
The metal sinks for washing up begin to boil and seethe;
The dining hall is empty as a ballroom in the dawn,
All the boys are scattered to the playground and the lawn;
Tums no longer throbbing with emptiness and pain,
Boys no longer hungry, but eager once again
To play and to yell - hurray!
What a fine lunch today,
Now it can thunder or snow or hail or rain.
(Apologies to Chesterton’s ‘Lepanto’)
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