Anti-Bruv Device - Back To The Drawing Board

In the third year my form, 3B1, was based in the geography room with P.G. Cornes as form master. For those who may not have been aware Salvo had a geography room, it was in the main block, floor 2, in the far corner from the assembly hall.

In the morning, once Bruv opened the main doors with his big bunch of keys, pupils had a certain amount of time to hang up their coats and get to their form room to deposit bags, etc., prior to going to the assembly hall. In order to speed this process Bruv would work his way along the corridor from the assembly hall, and eject those too slow in exiting their form room with that well known slap to the back of the head. The game was to try and delay going to assembly for as long as possible, but to avoid the slap from Bruv. Even though my form was the furthest from the hall, Bruv always managed to catch a fair number of us dawdlers and give us our reward.

After one too many slaps, my mate JB decided to produce an anti-Bruv device, egged on by several others and me. In hindsight, JB was either naively optimistic, or punch drunk. His doomsday device consisted of a broad elastic band with a drawing pin stuck through. JB put the band around his head with the pinpoint facing out from the back of his head, then concealed all with his hair.

JB’s moment of truth came when Bruv struck and indeed recoiled from the prick of the pin. The victory only lasted a blink as Bruv replied with a barrage of slaps to both sides of JB’s head, then proceeded to drub us witnesses for good measure.

Surely not the last time "the enemy's" reactions and firepower were hopelessly underestimated.

Oh well! Back to the drawing board ...
(Alan Hudson 65-72)