The Phantom Crapper


Around 1976 (or thereabouts) the large lavatory next to the metalwork and woodwork area was held in a grip of fear as the reign of terror of one of the most nefarious fiends was about to commence. In the middle of the floor where the urinals are, was deposited a turd of prodigious proportions and scribbled on the wall was "The Phantom Crapper Strikes".

A day or so later, another large turd and "the Phantom Crapper strikes again" on the wall in black marker pen. A search was made by the teachers to find anyone with a large black marker pen in their pockets or pencil case or bag. No suitable suspects were found.

It was then that the graffiti taunts started. The most famous of which was, "They don't know where, they don't know when, but the phantom crapper will strike again".

This prompted another search for black marker pens and a curfew on the use of the lavatory.

Then it all seemed to die and go away. There were several suspects, but nothing, as far as I know, was ever proven. The phantom crapper disappeared down the cubicle that spawned him and was never heard off again. I would be intrigued to know the phantom crapper's identity, but it will probably remain a mystery to me.
(Jim Hudson 74-79)


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