Father Eric's 9 Drug Definitions
Does anyone remember Fr Eric's 9 Drug Definitions? In the second year it was deemed that learning this mantra would protect us from the burgeoning world of chemical abuse, promoted by such evil influences as the rock band famously announced by Dodo as Ged Lepplin in an assembly.
Anyway the drug definitions were ruthlessly forced into us by such means and threats as detentions etc. Finally one day only two remained who could not recite all ten, JN & JD. As the two class hardmen they took a certain pride in standing up to the establishment. After failing to answer ANY of the questions correctly they were invited to the head of the class, where upon Fr Eric whisked a cane from his surplice, dress, whatever and proceeded to give JD six of the best in front of the assembled class. I can still see the determined stare amid the tears in his eyes as he eyeballed Fr Eric.
JN was next, also giving his best stare he grinned at Fr Eric who infuriated at this proceeded to splinter the cane over his hand on the first stroke.
The solemnity of the proceedings evaporated when Fr Eric attempted to re-insert the now splintered cane back into the secret pocket it had come from. After finally sliding it in, the cane was lifting the front of his surplice as though he had a giant hard-on. Leaving the class rolling on the floor in mirth, two sore pupils were thus elevated to superstars. Bearing in mind this was 1978 the public caning had a profound effect on us. Not least when a month later Paddy Ruane lost his rag with a pupil and proceeded to literally kick the s**t out of the guy on the floor. Luckily for us it wasn't a Protestant school.
(Declan Galvin 76-81)
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