Neugebauer’s Dink - A Warning To The Curious

This yarn took place in the third form metalwork class and was, I suppose, typical of adolescent humour and the dangers of idle hands.

The Neugebauer was Mark (he had an older brother in the year, or was it two years? above) and was nicknamed “The Ox” on account of his remarkable, barely controlled strength. In reality Mark was a gentle giant and as far as I was concerned a great bloke.

I can’t remember quite what sparked off this incident, or why Colin Tuffnell was not there encouraging us to “press on”. I was hard at work at my bench bashing something or other (way beyond tent pegs, matey) when I was approached by Colin Clubbe and Dick Tyrrell and asked, “Do you want to see Neugebauer’s dink?”

Knowing it was something stupid, hopefully funny, plus a relief from metal (mental?) torture I readily accepted their kind offer. I was instructed to close my eyes, and I was blindfolded, then frogmarched by my two helpers to the back of the metalwork shop, out through the storage area. I was aware of fresh air blowing onto me so knew the rear door was open, but must have been about the only person in the school that did not know that it opened onto a loading bay.

The unseen but lurking Neugebauer asked, “Do you want to see my dink?”

“Yes please," I replied.

At which point my blindfold snatched off and I was simultaneously pushed off the loading bay ledge. Fortunately there was only a drop of a couple of feet, so I managed not to fall on my face. Of course they thought it funnier than I did.

They managed to sucker a few other victims but word soon spread.

I wonder if they would still have thrown me off if the drop were higher?

(Alan Hudson 65-72)

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